Fools and Wise Men

Fools make Feasts, and wise men eat them.
- Benjamin Franklin, “The Way to Wealth”

           155. The three numbers glared angrily at Cori from below her feet. Following her weekly routine, she weighed herself on the scale in the privacy of her bathroom.
           “You fat cow. You can’t even maintain a steady 150 pounds,” Cori scolded herself. She stepped off the scale, one foot at a time. For a wonderful five seconds, she was only 102.5 pounds as some of her weight was transferred off the scale and onto the tile floor.
           It was a short lived moment.
           Cori slowly turned around and faced the mirror.
            “Why can’t you just stop eating?” she sighed.
           At a height of five feet and four inches, she was what doctors called “slightly overweight”. To them, she could start playing a sport to lose a few pounds, but it wasn’t life threatening if she didn’t. To her, she was just plain fat and constantly unhappy. To the other girls in her school, she was a disgusting pig.
           Cori shook her head. Today was not going to be one of those days where she wallowed in self-pity. She closed her eyes and envisioned for a second that she was at least thirty pounds lighter. Ah, much better. Now, she was ready to go to school.
           Riiing. It was the dreaded lunchtime. Cori headed for her usual place: the bathroom. In her school of model-thin girls, no one wanted to be her friend. Every meal, she escaped to the third floor bathrooms and entered the stall furthest from the door. She never bothered closing or locking the stall door; no one ever used that bathroom, so she wasn’t afraid of anyone entering or discovering her.
           Oh boy, she was starving. She tossed aside the crinkled brown paper bag, and ravenously bit into her double cheeseburger. What a glorious feeling. She savored every taste, every morsel. However, mid-chew, she heard a creeeak from the entrance. She quickly pulled the stall door shut and locked it, then curled up on top of the toilet seat. If anyone saw her there, she’d be known as pathetic and lonely in addition to being the disgusting pig. She held her breath and made no sound as she listened to the click-clack of a stranger’s boots. Seconds passed. Cori patiently waited; another few minutes and the person would be gone. She was not at all prepared for the sudden sound of someone retching into the toilet. The toilet flushed and the stranger proceeded to wash their hands. Cori took this time to bend over and peer through the crack of the stall door. She couldn’t believe her eyes. The stranger was the most popular girl in school, Ashley Hardy.
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           115. Ashley looked away from the bathroom scale in disgust, unable to accept the truth. Despite her seven-day cleanse, in which she was “guaranteed to lose a pound a day”, she had actually gained a pound. What was she going to do now? All of her friends were sticks. She’d surely stick out like a sore thumb.
           “You’re a fat-ass.” Ashley walked over to her full-length mirror and narrowed her eyes at her reflection. Turning to the side, she examined her belly. “Look at that fat. No one will ever like you if you look like this.”
           At a height of five feet and eight inches, Ashley was what every teenage girl aspired to be.  To them, she was tall, pretty, and skinny; in other words, the perfect recipe to being popular. In her own eyes, Ashley would never be satisfied. She constantly compared herself to her friends and how much they weighed, even though most of them were a good two inches shorter. To doctors, Ashley was the type of girl they worried about. She was severely underweight and faced health risks if she didn’t gain some weight.
           Ashley shook her head. She’d figure how to lose weight some other way. There were so many other possibilities: she could increase the number of workouts in a week, diet, and if she got desperate…well, she’d address that problem when she reached it.
           Riiing. It was the dreaded lunchtime. Every day, Ashley only ate a baggie’s worth of granola and carrot sticks for her meal. Her closest friends ate similarly, consuming a cup of yogurt or a small salad. If someone was feeling adventurous, they ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
          “Oh my gosh, did you hear about last week?” Ashley idly listened to her friends chatter about some celebrity.
           “I heard that she’s bulimic and uses laxatives,” whispered another.
           “Well, the girl had to do something to control her weight before she turned into a fatty,” sneered a girl at the end of the table.
           Ashley’s head snapped up. That last comment had certainly caught her attention. Would she be gossiped about too if she kept gaining weight? She quickly excused herself.
           Out in the hall, she debated her next step. If throwing up had worked for the celebrity, why couldn’t it work for her? She headed for the third floor bathroom; no one ever used that bathroom, so she wasn’t afraid of anyone entering or discovering her. Even so, she cautiously tiptoed into the bathroom and headed for the first stall she saw. She silently knelt down and looked down at the toilet bowl.
         Do you really want this? Of course, you fool. Do you want to be the center of fat jokes? Her conscience battled against her desire to be thinner. Before she could change her mind, she stuck her finger down her throat and waited for the gag reflex to kick in. Soon enough, she was staring down at her own lunch floating around in the water. There’s no going back now, she thought. She quickly flushed and walked out to wash her hands. As she did so, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. “No pain, no gain,” she whispered as she exited the bathroom.
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           That day, Cori got home and headed straight for the computer. She surfed the web for hours that night, researching. Anorexia and bulimia were both serious eating disorders. They were often seen as mental illnesses and could easily ruin lives. Even Ashley, who was seen as the dominant female in the school hierarchy had succumbed to eating disorders to stay within what was ‘acceptable’. Cori couldn’t believe that she actually willed herself to throw up after every meal. From the information she gathered, Ashley could put as much time and effort into achieving her idea of ‘the perfect body’ as she wanted, but in reality, she would never be satisfied. It didn’t matter how much weight she lost, she would never stop weighing herself countless times in a day and obsessing over her reflection in the mirror for hours.
           Ashley revisited the third floor the next week and continued to do so in the following weeks. Soon enough, Cori heard the sound of vomiting every day as she sat horrified and silently munched on her lunch. One day, both girls broke their routine. Rather than eat in the bathroom, Cori chose to sit down in the cafeteria and eat her lunch in public. Ashley never even made it to lunch because she had passed out earlier in the day. Cori heard rumors that Ashley had been admitted to the hospital and would remain there until she recovered.
            Today, Cori didn’t bother stepping on the scale. Today, she walked over to her mirror. Today, she wasn’t afraid to look at herself, all of herself. Sure, she could always cut down a little, but she was healthy. Today, she was happy.