Brian
White
F-Block
Mr.
Moran
Silks and
satins, scarlet and velvets put out the kitchen fire.
Preface: Snow fell on the cold, hard
ground. The cries of
revolutionaries could be heard in the distance. A hackney carriage sped through the night along the forest
road, pursued by loud whoops and hollers.
Two men jumped out of the darkness with torches and knives. The horse was cut loose, and,
overwhelmed, galloped away. Female
cries of “Deus misereatur!”* issued from the interior of the overturned
wagon. A man clambered out through
the roof, brandishing a sword.
“Dmitri,
he is dead!” exclaimed one of the robbers, following the fight. “Yes, Klepto, he is dead,” Dmitri
replied. “But his mother and the
babe got away.” Klepto did not
appear concerned by this fact, and with greed in his burning blue eyes,
proceeded to strip the Eastern royal of his fineries. Within the carriage, Dmitri found a white velvet embroidered
in gold, which would make a good sum in the marketplace.
* * * * * * *
It
couldn’t be helped.
Ouranos
had already asked Neptune her hand, and there would no doubt be a glorious
wedding. Neptune’s mother was in a
fit of excitement, whisking the bride-to-be and her sister from pastry-shops to
fittings and various other appointments.
There couldn’t have been a better time to tie the knot. Neptune was a sliced apple the most
opulent before browning. Her skin
was the color of a pale rose, her eyes bore the coruscation of a gemstone, and
her hair swam and bubbled like a kelp forest. Her beauty made no hint to her
humble beginnings, much less to a man for whom she had been destined at birth.
All
the while, Ouranos had been planning a feast, and finally decided to regale
extravagantly at the summer mansion.
The chef was given an interminable list of dishes to prepare, and an
ample sum for the exotic ingredients.
Alina, as she was called, had come to live by the sea a long time ago.
She had tended the kitchen fire for decades, knocking at the family door when
Ouranos’ mother had been suckling her child. Alina was no doubt accustomed to
the prodigal propensities of the household, and went, disapproving nonetheless,
on her way.
At
a small boutique across the river, the women found the crowning robe. White as milk, the cloth was as
striking as it was supple. Golden
threads weaved a living tapestry into the crushed velvet bodice. The brocade curiously and most
intricately depicted the fall of man.
Stitched into the left hip, Adam and his wife fled from the angel with
the flaming sword situated under the right breast. When Neptune touched their leafy garments, she was surely
mistaken to have felt a waxy surface beneath her fingers. The human likeness was as
incredible. Adam’s skin held the
smooth satin of true flesh, with Eve’s tangled locks imitated in silk
threads. Neptune’s mother was
partial to the bone tiers of silk gauze cascading to the floor. When Neptune
put it on, the gown seemed to increase her natural beauty without bound. She thanked her mother for the dress,
and hurried home.
Riennade had every reason to be happy for her sister. And for every one, she was as
justifiably so enraged. She, being
the younger daughter of a wanting family, was left with the crumbs of Neptune’s
burgeoning prosperity. At birth,
she had been blessed with good fortune, a betrothal to the Eastern
Potentate. Neptune later secured a
bond to the mere fishnetter’s son Helbrun. That all changed when Ouranos, the charming youth from the
South presented Neptune with unimaginable riches and asked for her hand. To stay true to Helbrun’s father,
Riennade’s family had promised her to him, and all her dreams had drowned.
Ouranos was waiting for Neptune when she arrived. He laughed to see her struggling with
the package she was holding, and sweeped it out of her grasp before she crashed
into him. “It’s perfect Rani,” she
exclaimed, her cheeks flushed.
After seeing Neptune rush off with the parceled dress in
her arms, Riennade ambled over the bridge, past the palace, through the cobbled
streets until she reached a dirt path.
Here she turned her head back to the crowded streets, before continuing
on her way. As she neared a small
hut on the cliffs, a young man came out to greet her. His long dark hair was damp, as always, from the sea
spray. He came to her, and clasped
her hand. Riennade resisted the
temptation to plug her nose from his fish smell. “It is done?” he asked. “Yes,” she replied, her snake eyes narrowing to slits. “Why must you smell so disgusting?” she
hissed. “You will not set foot in
the mansion if you stink like that.”
Neptune came out into the courtyard, glowing like an
angel. She scanned the stone
garden, glancing past the marble statues of swans gushing water into a
fountain. Ouranos beckoned to her,
beaming, from the boughs of a cherry tree. “The last time my stomach dropped so was when I jumped from
this branch,” he jumped from the tree, “into my grandmother’s arms.” His scarlet lips were frozen in a
glorious smile. He took her and
they kissed under pink clouds.
Riennade’s mother owed the Fishnetter a great debt. Her husband, betrayed by his best
friend, had been mortally wounded for his money earned off a velvet tunic. It was Helbrun’s father who had nursed
her husband until his death. Thus she held no pity for Riennade, only grim
fulfillment. She had found the
cook in town, and together they finished her errands. When they returned, Riennade had already removed the fish
stench from her body, rubbing her wrists vigorously with rose water. Seeing the cook, she snatched her into
a dark corner. “I have found the
coffer,” she breathed. “We set
fire at midnight. By dawn, all is lost.”
The cook’s eyes blazed in the shadow. “Deus misereatur.
I will do anything for my son.”
It was a glorious wedding, until the fire, at least. Ouranos had received a rock crystal
vase as a gift, which he proudly placed in the foyer on top of the marble
staircase. Wishing to relieve
herself, Neptune had rustled her way into the large washroom down the hall,
hardly noticing the fold in the rug, concealing a trap door where inside the
empty casket lay, the lock broken.
She was met by a powerful brightness, which she strove to put out by
beating it with her velvet bodice, which she had ripped from her back. She could have saved herself at an
earlier time, but was lost to smoke inhalation. Her lifeless body was left untouched by the flames, which
formed a strange halo around her without touching her dress.
Ouranos smashed the crystal against the glass. The windowpane shattered, spitting shards of glass that
stung his face and neck. With the
flames licking at his heels, he hoisted himself up on the sill, and slid down
onto the stone ledge. There he
stood, balanced 170 feet above ground, his skin speckled with tiny cuts. He gripped the wall with raw hands. It grew slippery with blood, and he
feared of falling. Below him lay a
flat stretch of stone ground, the courtyard with the bubbling swan fountain. Here he had said his vows to
Neptune. Here he had seen his
grandmother smile up at him, her arms outstretched so as to catch him when he
fell from his perch in the cherry tree.
Here he had lied in the hypnotic blaze of the summertime. Here, not there, for he had fallen, and
here he lay now, staring up at the gray smoke billowing from his burning house.
Only ashes remained in the morning.
The building had remained mysteriously intact around Nepune’s lifeless,
bare-breasted form. The velvet
bodice was nowhere to be found. At
noontime, Klepto’s son lay still, his dead eyes gasping beryl into the heart of
the sun.
This was so amazing to read. I'm so impressed! I thought it was well written, and the impression I got from the epigraph was that there was going to be extravagant wealth involved somewhere here, and I think your beautiful descriptions gave a similar feeling to the piece as a whole. The vocab you used was great, and I loved the use of Latin. I also liked that the ending was not what I expected. I liked how you used to details that gave us background on your character (with the story about his grandmother) to also resolve an aspect of the plot, or at least relate back to it. I thought it was great, and I'm really curious as to where you got the core idea for this story.
ReplyDeleteBrian, I'm really impressed with this. It's really good and really well written. I loved your use of elaborate language to describe the things in the story. I thought it was quite interesting how the language added an extra something to the extravagance and flavor of the story. It added a bit of an ethereal, mythical edge that complemented the ethereal, mythical characters. I agree with Katherine about how I liked the background details that you gave. The only thing I could say about this is that you should make it a little clearer who each of your characters are. There were several times where I had to go back and search for a character because the name wasn't solid enough to register the first time (for example, with Klepto). I know that you intend Riennade to be a sympathetic character, but does she in some ways embody the epigraph as well? One of her biggest problems with Helbrun is how he smells, so is she also guilty of being too classist and materialistic (which doesn't help her much in life)?
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